Instead of working I drew this picture of Abraham Lincoln jizzing on Julie Andrews. #productive
She is doing the most.
My Car
At least once a week when I’m driving my 2008 Mazda with no automatic windows or locks and a small dent on the left side from hitting a pole in the parking lot of my eye doctors while wearing an eye patch for inflammation in my hip that had somehow traveled to my eye and almost blinded me because of a disease I later found out I have called anglosig spondilitis, someone will yell out at my car, “Hey man, I fix your dent 300 dolla!”.
What I’ve found, is it’s hard to explain to a stranger driving in the next lane of fairly speedy traffic that I actually like my dent because not only is it a reminder not to wear and eye patch when I drive, but it’s a signal to any wanna be car jackers that since I don’t have enough money to fix such a manageable dent I probably don’t have anything worthwhile to steal.
So I’ve been working on a shorter way to tell these guys, ”I appreciate your concern for the safety and appearance of my vehicle, but I keep the dent as a symbol of the failures of my past and won’t be needing your services.”
What I came up with is a simple two word phrase.
Fuck off.
